Magnetised Hearts/ 'Tenderized' Souls

shit

2007-02-12T06:17:01Z

i think i like bel.

nope i'm not les in case ur wondering.
there goes keli's advice on knowin da guy as a fren 1st
but it'll die down soon.

i hope.

why muz he like saints?
so pure & pretty..
statuesque too!

GAH

i'm no saint, i'm selfish n dirty like a pig.
wat to do?
continue to masquerade as da 'friendly' guyish fren lor..

*stares a hole in the wall*

Inventory of JC2 life

2007-02-07T14:29:02Z

Yesterday night, i went ktv-ing wif jing yi, jia hui, alyssa and bing rong. Despite the cigarette smoke drifting from the air vents and my phlegmy throat, I had a great time =) Jia Hui's powerhouse vocals shouldn't be enjoyed by juz us, it should be shared wif the whole singapore in the next superstar!!! Hahaha.. and i like to hear bing rong deliver jay chou songs wif that ease and laidback 'tude. Whereas I muz learn more songs, good-to-sing-along songs =) and inject more feeling cuz i sound like a robot right now.

Erm, well wat happened recently, oh yeah I'm 4 tutorails late in Maths, missing a chunk in Bio and floundering in Chem as usual. ART's the worst, I'm so damn stressed and depressed cuz i'm only at my first miniscule piece of pencil work for prep -_____-" Wushu is deflating, I've only mastered TWO sword sequences so far. April inter sch is not far away and I need to train my stamina. With PE mock-Road Runs, Duoathlon and a biathlon I plan to join in March, I hope it's enuf. Hopefully my bike tyres can be replaced soon so I can cycle to sch every morn and back home in the evening. Plus saturday dance? Argh, I'm not up to par wif Liling wrt FLEXIBILITY and SINCERITY, and Soph wrt STRENGTH and SUPERB MEMORY. Ack, I need to tone my legs, beat the tummy flab, sculpt the abs, and bulk up my arms. Hopefully I can achieve a pull-up earlier than ________. heh.

Oh haha, and grow out my hair, it's take a long looong time =P Cut it in the first place to shear off my past mistakes and make a new beginning. Major aspirations include: SLEEPING enuf, being NICE to family, mum especially, staying POSITIVE. Secondary goals include: having better taste in fashion, music and guys (lol) It's normal i guess, to yearn for a special someone, to fulfil my feminine side, *GASP* (yes it actually exists)Buuuuuut..it ain't the right time and no right guy in sight yo.

Can't think of anything else, will update for sanity's sake soon.

funkyspecs @ 2007-01-23T19:33:00

2007-01-23T12:01:01Z

I'm down with gastric flu. Although it's makin my life miserable, I'm thankful for it too. For once, i actually fully appreciate my parents, (oh shucks i'm gettin teary already) Like last night, when i was deliriously spouting nonsense and blacked out suddenly only to be 'woken up' by my father who was hollering for my mother to call the ambulance. LOL~ I felt as helpless as a baby, always gets these hallucinations and same few nightmares when running a high fever. Anyway, both of them were sponging and massaging me and kept a bedside vigil all night. I felt truly loved. Argh..my maid loves me too, cooked special meals knowing how picky my tastebuds are when I'm ill. Not one drop of oil or sugary stuff yeaurgh! I've also realised that I've been taking my health for granted. In future, when stuck btw homework and sleep, I'll definitely choose sleep -_____-"

I'm a lazy bum =P

2006-11-18T06:44:31Z

The hols has been great so far! Shall update soon... Wait to prevent me frm forgetting: Wed coldwear Thu scuba diving Fribowen's bday

Life is good =)

2006-11-05T15:14:50Z

I am now pleasantly drunk. On a scale of 1 to 10 I'm 4.5, but da red wine wasn't excellent, bah~ My dad advised me not to drink on an empty stomach or the alcohol will be absorbed v quickly, but he added tat being moderately drunk (a.k.a. qing1 piao1 piao1 feeling) is THE whole point of drinking. I fully agree *hic* cuz I end up much much nicer than usual, as in I'm not as sharp to reply my mum scathingly, OR rebuke my dad's effort to know wad's goin' on in my life. I didn't even scold my sis when she wore my favourite 'Mrs Incredible and Violet' tee, hahaha =D This is definitely a gd sign! OK...oK..it might be the $200 worth of clothes I bough prior to dinner at Foo House >,<" It's so liberating to choose my own clothes & sniff out a good deal (ya know..tat ONLY XS size available during 30% storewide disount, gettin da Giordano membership from an EXACT $100 receipt, then buying a rly nice tee shirt wif the newly obtained 10% discount, etc.) However, it has made me more aware of the choices I make, cuz my mum will be keepin a close eye on my shopping habits [+_+]<0

Hmm..I'm glad tat today went well, maybe it's cuz yesterday went well (^^,) Yep...I went to Lao Shi's lessons at Foochow Assoc & got to learn the first 2 parts of NEW jing4 sai4 sword sequence!! Well it isn't much of an achievement, since sophie alr knows the 4-duan chang2 quan2, broadsword AND spear=>*sIgH* I gotta BUCK UP! Well after tat, all 3 of us went to eat lunch wif lao shi at Lavender Food Court, haha..(with Material Girl blasting in the background) There we leanrnt abt his 3-cups-daily addiction to caffeine and his deciosion to spray paint his car PINK! My GAWD~lolz.. After tat Soph left for a family photoshoot with her usual cool sartorial style; Liling went to celebrate Joanne's 17th b'day at Orchard, while I went to Mountbatten CC for SBM's 'Sport's Day'. It was wonderful =D Lotsa shouting and sweatin (& swearing)! Haha...then hwee took me under his wing & introduced me to...WEIGHTLIFTING! Yeah~ if anyone is qualified to teach tat it's hwee, cuz he's joining SEA games sooon xD, which is rly cool, if not for da fact tat he quit his job to pursue training full-time -______-" Mich also took it up earlier for fitness so she demo-ed some of da moves to me. ARGHHH..now my shoulder & waste & thighs r aching like siao!! Haha..not only tat, hwee also used his super strength to help me stretch and crack my spine so I felt V limber after training. Then, Sou Kuin begged me to go joggin wif her so we left da gym and jogged along the park connector to CHUNG CHENG!! Arhz...missed it so much tat i went on 'tour guide' mode =P bringing SK to all da bldgs and around da beautiful lake, much clearer due to da heavy rains. I was so inspired tat I banged on the piano at the Concourse overlookin da lake ;) & even struck up a conversation wif da white-haired lady who oversees da bball team {*_*} as i said, i was hyper..

Hmm...u might be wondering at my sudden bout of verbal diarrhoea after a loooong period of constipation. Well, for once I was enjoying myself after Promos (no point dwelling on my DDUDC) and also I couldn't acknowledge the fundamental shift in my mood. I'm no longer love-sick. Smarting from the rough patch YES but mooning wif sad puppy eyes NO. Well, I've come to realise tat guys haf an exceptionally high self-esteem & they place a heavier focus on physical appearance while girls, alright..especially ME, are more insecure and invest heavily opn emotions. As my trusted Chi physicain cum shrink expounded, "Do not lay out ur cards so quickly for girls will 'deprecate' in da guy's eyes." Haha...but he did praise me for my mature thinking and refusal to xian4 de geng4 shen1; it's obvious tat he's an 'old bird' in sensual matters while I'm a greenhorn. GAH~I shall seduce younger guys from now on >D muahaha~

A whirlwind of movies and fun

2006-10-27T02:05:59Z

Caught The Prestige with the Art ppl at The Picturehouse Cathay. Before that I rushed to Plaza Singapura and ate a quick dinner at Pastamania. Thank goodness I did cuz i was broke after payin for the $9 tic but rach insisted on dining at Cafe Cartel. Mrs Neo and Mark came too and we were almost late for the 8.50pm show.

IT was an UNFORGETTABLE night. ~Christian Bale~ *screams*

ART rAwKs my world..

2006-10-19T09:17:52Z

Woah~ I ponned sch today and was planning to go out and watch Deathnote when Shujuan suddenly smsed to say that Mrs Neo is takin us to HCI and NJC to view d A level artworks. Like 5 minutes before take-off. Talk about short notice. So yep, took a cab down and d back of Mrs Neo's 7-seater was damn squashed and stuffy lar..

At HCI, they had sooo many specialised rooms for animation, fashion photography, studios, etc. o.O" They're exhibition layout was superb; the students' artworks were displayed in individual cubicles or on partitions, along walkways, just like in a gallery. The works were all pretty amazing except this obviously rushed one comprising apples with moulded plastic noses stuck on them. A variety of techniques were used, from carving intricate designs on clear acrylic using a dentist's drill, to framed up 'pages' of a picture book, each of them composed by layering wooden boards to create a 3D landscape. They had a coupla videos too, shot in different styles. One was the traditional script, one was a slideshow with narration, yet another was a wierd fashion showcase done by this girl fascinated wif DINOSAURS for some reason. The traditional paintings in acrylic oil and watercolor were good but unexciting, really bland in fact. Oh wait wait, and there was this work that is influenced by Japanese culture, wad with the geisha silk screen and origami cranes hung up to cast a shadow on it, didn't get wad the bowls on the floors meant tho..

We then proceeded to NJC, right opp HCI. Mr Lim, our guide, intro himself as the technician of NJ art. I couldn't agree more. His students' works were an eye-opener. Lotsa installations, sculptures and video art and even a website. One that stuck with me was the series of circular clay sculptures suspended in mid-air by industrial strength stockings with spotlights within. Since one of them kept exploding, the shattered mess on the floor became intentional. Another one was 5 paper scrolls that was hung up on the wall and extended to the ground like an outstretched palm. It was full of pencil or charcoal scribbles to resemble the amount of hair at different stages of life. He took the longest to complete, surprisingly. I liked the one on WOMAN! Two sculptures of two dresses. Taller than chris and jinxy..the protagonist was about "outside strong, inside soft" the outer layer was stuck with tiny black and white pebbles to form color gradation while the inner layer was lined with feathers. The antagonist was "outside pure and innocent, inside cruel and twisted" It's empire waisted, gets really poofy and ball shaped (due to the wire netting skeleton) in the middle and tapers down to the end. It's covered with white fluffy feathers, but the inside is lined with spikes and nails. Really cool~gonna do smth on women next year too (^^,)

Better write down my ideas in case I forget. Women of this age must be adept at surviving in a society which is redefining the roles and position of women. Women used to be very meek in a male-oppressed environment. Then came the hippie era, expounding flower power and not much real substance, followed by hard-core bra-burning feminism. However now women are vvv capable, able to balance all aspects of her life, whether at home (as the indeispensable mother, wife and maid), at work (climbing the corporate ladder, women CEOs or bitching office girls wadeva) AND in human relationships and interaction in general (think finding and keeping friends, dispatching 'friends' and hunting for mates) I'd like to think that now is the chance for women to show others what we've got, the world is our stage for us to extend our power and influence. Thus I'd like to represent such adeptness at switching between 'soft' and hard' approaches (plus everything in between of course..) using Wu3(dance) and Wu3(martial arts).

Wake UP! Get goin'

2006-10-16T16:35:20Z

Feelin kinda overwhelmed these few days, that's why I didn't bother to update on LJ. Things have sorta spiralled to a new low. Especially my studies, to the point whereby i'm dangerously numb to atrocious failure. It's time...to reset my priorities and focus.

Most recently, we've gotta perform this sunday 22 Oct at Singapore Foochow Assoc. It's Derek lao shi's first major exposure to friends and inside people. So he's understandably quite stressed, and his normally steady-as-TAI-mountain composure is rumbling ominously. Can't blame him though...cuz most of us are in bad shape...& I'm like..the WORST? shit~ So yeah, fitness muz be my long-term goal. Stamina, Stretchability and Strength.

Related to fitness is my dance and wushu ability. I WANT to boost my calibre. For dance, I aim to reach the stage whereby difficult moves look effortless and the audience can see how much I enjoy being immersed in the choreo and music. For wushu, it's to memorise more sequences and polish many many many times till the whole thing flows. Obviously, I wish to imbue that elusive X-factor that makes people gasp and be riveted.
LOL~but I need to feeeel invincible first =P

Second main thing is la acadaemia, which suxo totalini. Maths is ok cuz I still can catch the concepts, but more practice and revision is required to score better. Bio is all abt large amounts of data and and giving the marker what he/she wants using the minimum no. of words. Chem is more problematic. I lack the patience to settle down, grasp the formulas/reagents/conditions, draw the link in explanations and following the standard steps in anwering questions. VVV time-consuming. Art hmm...mixed feelings. The painting part, I'm not distinctive and I can't reach the meditative state of concentrating only on one particular area of the canvas. Arhz~muz develop my personal style. SOVA.. it's help if i got into the momentum of trawling thru the info and extracting the essential points for each movement and artist in the syllabus, making comparisons and thinking up an effective structure for answers.

Third area is social networking. As one can see, I'm hooked by Friendster. Obsessive compulsive in changing my profile and churning out testi for friends. I guess smart ppl dun do frenster, frenz in real life keeps them busy enuf..It's not like my life is barren of frenz and mutual admiration. Just that I tend to out myself down by expounding on flaws instead of enhancing my advantages. By revealing too much to even the most well-meaning and nice fren could backfire, as can be seen frm certain galz i confide in. Ack~I should learn to let my emotions simmer inside for a little more and die down based on my own willpower and the 'fade' effect of time.

Fourthly, is my identity crisis. Why am I, a fortunate gurl living in Singapore, so uncontented with myself? What defines me? What would i wanna persue for the rest of my life wrt career and relationships? Are there easy answers? No...but I ought to start thinkin abt who I am and what I wanna do this life. In other words, what is the message I wanna see on my tombstone? Good question. I want mine to say "Funky carebear. Lived the life. Walked the talk. Never-ending love."

Obviously, it's quite impossible cuz Buddhists cremate our remains, but I'd like my obituary to be some artwork in a gallery =P

Simple gifts

2006-10-12T10:08:16Z

Jogged to huan yuet's place to pass her her present. As she was havin tuition, Meng Meng (her Pekingese dog) ran to the gate and yipped welcome. He looks so cute & cuddly now after shaving that monstrous mass of hair! Had a nice chat wif her maid too, she actually remembered my name =p haha~

Then I went to da park, climbed to da top of the phallic structure and sat there hunched over hugging my legs (like some sacrificial virgin, lol). The inky sillhouettes of trees and houses were a stark contrast to the soothing orange night sky. Gem-like amber street lights lit up the hazy grey ribbon of road. It was so dreamlike, like some parallel universe. Love the cold wind and hypnotising.. swaying.. shadows.

My thoughts drifted to him AGAIN. This morning while milling outside da audi, there he was sprawled on da stairs legs flung wide, looking all forlorn like a little boy (how tempting), a loyal lackey by his side. But i forcibly turned away and stared blankly at the wall like a disused doll. After all, he has a harlem of pretty slaves, each of them an sms away.

I refuse to succumb like his latest love interest, [jia yi is so passe..]. Go and die.. Why him? WHY! Argh FREAK..

It was condemned from the start.. Ivan, exhibiting precocious insights on romantic dalliances & so very familiar wif da female anatomy (yes i now noe wad u were drawing!), commented that to love is to accept the high probability of getting hurt by the ugly thorns lying under the bed of roses.How can I let someone into my heart (or under my skirt for tat matter..) if i don't like myself? In fact I hate myself & beat myself up comparing myself to other gurls (i hate friendster)! TRIPLE *bish*

WTF i'm talkin in tat pseudo tragically-misunderstood emo way again.. which doesn't make sense but it's exactly how i feel. Jia Yi likes to direct movies in her head. (~_<)oO( *daydreams* )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

....(After 50 mins)

AwW...OSY CALLED ME => i'm in shock. That ultra pragmatic, super self-centred genius who looks like Gollum when she grins actually INVITED me to visit HCI open house!! Wahaha! I'm ecstatic xD She's doing well, thriving in fact. I'm glad =)

Ack..i juz remembered...sze hwee was charmed by HIM too.. She's in wushu, which is not quite unbelievable since she's 100% cheena like me. Shite, hafta compete against ANOTHER fren next april, in add to fangyu, yumi, hy & da incredible sophhiiiee...

Oh btw ytd derek lao shi n yun yun jie gave me my belated bday present *squeals in delight*: Strawberry body shop gel douche! Ok liu xing got da same thing but still..how sweet of them! Oh then I scurried to buy a last min present for Prisc (BLUE earrings cuz i noe she likes PINK >P), in BJ it's easy to find smth gd in 5 mins flat.

I'm kinda saded..we were havin dance meeting at bugis moz u see, n lao shi was allocating jobs. I'm in charge of stage deco, audience layout, light refreshments n photo exhibit (down memory lane kinda thing) while SOPHIE got The Job as lao shi's PA (personal assistant) AND overall POC (point of contact) *sulks* She gets to call everyone, noe da seniors n hob nob wif famous teachers, etc *humph* Maybe it's cuz she's so professional while I'm downright kuku at times.

(..like LOL-ing in Moz till people o.O") *bleahx*

Wang4 chen2.. mo4 ji2.. I'm left in da cloud of dust by the trail tat sophie blazed. So remorseful, why did i wile away my time and energy on 'useless' activities? Like tat unhealthy obsession with him for example. Maybe it's cuz he's v confident (ok arrogant if u insist -_____-"), goofy, thinks he's God's gift to women, and has a serious(ly cool) side. A nice smile and a hot bod doesn't hurt either.

Arrhhz...time for PEP TALK. Jia Yi, my sincere advice is, STOP IT!!

DON'T view his friendster profile anonymously every night and giggle spastically at his lame pics.
DON'T read every single one of his testimonials. (Too late; been dere, done dat.)
DON'T continue tat morbid fascination wif the girls he fraternise wif.
DON'T curse yourself for not joining wushu in chung cheng just so u'll noe him earlier.
DON'T think tat he'll wipe his sex-oriented Neanderthalish system & miraculously convert into a SNAG (sensitive new age guy, which sophie btw has snagged..YEEJEK)
DON'T bluff urself into squeezing into 'The Ideal Gal' mould he set. But..

DO change into a better person, to family, frenz and acquaintances. HE is an acquaintance, now. & foreva, AMEN.

funkyspecs @ 2006-10-10T16:49:00

2006-10-10T08:49:46Z

promos ended today, zzz...

oh freak, slept da last 30 mins of chem

it's huan yuet's b'day today, sexy 17!

shrank into my car seat when i saw him at mp -___-"

then leg cramped up..DAMN..how pathetic...

GOOD BOOK ALERT! Why do guys fall sleep after sex

love da cherry motif on da cover!

off to see salvador dali tomorrow dah-ling~

wushu prac after eons n eons, finally

Friendship is a many-splendoured shit

2006-10-08T16:21:57Z

...1st of all I'd like to say, CHECK OUT "I Don't Feel like Dancing" on youtube! The band's full name is 'Dead Lesbian and Fibrillating something" according to ivan.

Next I'd like to clarify: I'm sick of playing games wif u or ANYONE, all i hope for is a beautiful and honest friendship. Why muz guys be so complicated. Aiz.. I don't like to waste time and energy wif these sorta stuff cuz I'm a total bai2 chi1 at it~!! Yeah it's tat simple, I DON't have some ulterior motive oKay~!! Won't a nice chat (WITHOUT barbs) on MSN be nice?

I mean..ur decent, laughter-inducing and all, (even chivalrous cuz u agreed to drop by my hse as a 'shield' even tho u were sick) and I thought "WoW~ How did it happen? I'm so glad to catch up wif an old fren! Lookin fwd to some fun and mahjong in future ^^,!" Alas, ur 180 degree change in 'tude is truly amazing. I'm human ya noe..prone to lapse of gd judgement (e.g. getting drunk, 'talkin wierd', scoring a friggin DCSUC for JCTs). I might not be da straight A, outwardly demure, but damn-fierce-to-guys girl u thought i still was. Yepz.. 4 yrs is a long looong time.. & ppl CHANGE! I've mellowed a lot (tho I still find it hard to trust others, tat's why I cherish EVERY SINGLE ONE of my frenz..)

So if u chance upon this entry, hope tat we can go beyond skin-deep & be frenz proper. I still owe u 8 bucks btw...dinner & movies? Hur Hur...sure, but if u wanna continue playing games, sorry, go find some other gal. I have nuthin to say, rly..*sigh* I'll miss ur mum, da brief camaraderie wif yh n da wonderful food..

Today is a happy happy day

2006-10-07T17:51:27Z

It's now 1.13 AM and I'm hallucinating. Just had a satisfying MSN conversation wif WY's *ahem* friend, who insists that WY is v persistent, annoying and irritating. Actually I agree cuz he always says "ur mom" and nudges ppl for no reason, which is damn rude! But v funny eh, he came all da way down to parkway from tpy library, where syan is snoring peacefully n CS is no doubt muggin wif all his might wearing a motivational TJ shirt. I myself was wearing Foochow Assoc dance tee cuz I felt sooo guilty for not going practice today. >,<" De li lao shi dun dao me eh!! Hey!

Just to share a few laughs..

De li ge: *holds up a mooncake* Liling come & eat 'wang2 ba1 dan4'
Liling: No i don't eat u (bastard)
De li ge: *v slow to get it..then aim da mooncake at her*

Me: Ok i shall go to the toilet and cry now
WY: U use da hand dryer right cuz ur hands cold
(In da ladies..)
Me: *rips out pants button accidentally* SHRIEK!
(Back at Coffee Bean..)
Me: *calmly drops the button into my pencil case* I'm too fat.
WY and Sophie: *pause* LOL

Argh..am planning to 2P2F pass maths and art, fail bio and chem o.O"

HAAZZEE!!

2006-10-07T02:19:37Z

Bloody forest fires! I initially thought that the dust cloud was caused by all the drilling outside my gate, but when I started to jog.. *cough cough* (>,<)<3 Arhz~i estimate the severity of the haze to be around PSI 70?

But I persevered to the park..And found it in less-than-pristine condition. -_______-" The revellers last night celebrated Mid-Autumn Festival in classic neighbourhood tradition; burning candles, lanterns, leaves then letting the melted mess solidify and pockmark the pavement *shakes head and sigh* The trash filled an entire plastic bag and i left it beside the dustbin where the inconsiderate people can see.

Then I rescued this football from a shallow drain and practised on it at the street soccer court. Alone. In broad daylight. Obscured by haze. Hehe..maybe when my footwork's better I'll join the guys. There were plenty of 1.5L bottles and plastic food wrappers, which I cleared up too. Then *TING*, it occured to me that I should take custody of the ball and return in the evening to find the owner. Yep, so I happily dribbled it home, dodging babies in strollers and indian labourers driving their lorries at 20 km/h.

I can't wait for Promos to end, then i can start my running regime proper and shape up for the performance on 22 Oct. I will buy Nike sports bra and tight pants for the training, and also for the Korea trip, cuz it'll wick away sweat during exercise. yay~

Good things come in threes, bad things too

2006-10-06T11:36:07Z

Today..tsunami..3rd time this month -___-" Promos are stressful..

So I went to my Chinese physician a.k.a 'life coach since P4'. To cheer me up, he gave me a pair of elephant figurines, one orange (guy) one pink (girl) and also a 2006 calendar page with the couple in adorable intl outfits, cuz he knows I collect postcards and it's about tat size... Oh well~ Needless to say, I was overjoyed!! (^^,) His collection occupies an entire cabinet, freebies courtesy of Japanese medicine supplier SATOS. How smart. Got my doc hooked for like 10+ yrs?(~,~)<3

Then I flew to Paragon for my silvery smile. I love Dr Poon =) He inspires his clients to be dentists. 'Nuff said. Ok i can't help it..let me continue gushing about him xD He's tall and handsome in a scholarly way with gentle eyes always smiling behind his glasses. Plus he entertains my random requests, like naming a particular colour combination after me. Argh I'm jealous..cuz he looks about 25 tho he's nearing 40! Utterly Unfair!

Another infuriating example is my chilhood friend Liwen. I bumped into her while crossing to Ngee Ann City and she's still as angelic. The only difference is her heavenly figure and stature, which puts lesser mortals like me to shame [@,@] After a hand-flapping rendition of "Ohhh my gaawwd" and a brief hug (in the middle of a 4 lane road no less!!), we parted ways.

Arhz..I'm brutally honest with myself w.r.t. flaws. Occassionally, i get these sudden burst of illumination, which penetrates my dense fog of pessimism and self-doubt. It highlights all the goodness in my life and the fact that I'm really quite lovely, lovable and loved (if u appreciate the minute deviation in meaning =P). In the past, I returned compliments with an incredulous o.O" ~yep~ but now I'm less skeptical and cynical..

It's a start. Every ridiculous self-declared mini tragedy brings out the best in me. Yeah baby~ ;P

Inspired to Run!!!

2006-10-04T05:15:26Z

I ran yesterday, miss chihing lim! Was getting kinda lethargic while revising my maths, so this random idea of jogging around my neighbourhood popped up (^^,)

I live near Anglican High School, and it's really 'hilly' there, full of tree-lined slopes and recently upgraded gravel pavements. But it's only for 20+ minutes? Up, up, down, up, down, with flat ground in between.

Ended up in my revamped park, a mere shadow of the previous playground (no SWINGS, can u believe it?!) and did some wushu kicks and stretches to cool down. Saw da entire n'hood male population congregated at the street soccer court, having a ball of a time chasing the ball. *tsk tsk* Hope to join them some time, though I don't dare =P cuz I'll get really aggressive and unladylike HAHAHA...not to forget elephant thighs o.O" *shiver*

My right knee hurts >,< and my joints have shifted outwards again..My calves have this wierd turned in angle which is getting more prominent. Arhz.. my legs are forever short cuz I overstretched them and now they can't grow anymore, AND my muscles have degenerated into fat. So rather than fat and stumpy legs, I want toned but short legs. (Coupled with my long torso, it's really erm...u get the picture)

A Poetic Perspective

2006-10-03T12:24:38Z

Thinking back, we were both greedy.(ADD: & i was plain dumb -_-") For him, it was the prospect of satisfying his curiosity while I wanted his exclusive attention (kinda impossible judging from his countless gal frenz) I should have kept the conversation light and not whet his appetite, cuz the time's not ripe yet. Below is an analogy...

I'm a coy flower bud that's just starting to unfurl, fresh and 'untainted', (albeit familiar with the birds and bees.) Though the bud's earthy green-brown appearance isn't eye-catching to the passer-by, the delicate fragrance (which indicates substance!), wafts to anyone who bothers to come closer and draw a deep breath.

Only the true connoisseur will recognise its full potential and embrace it entirely. Through some warmth, patience & TLC, that special person will help this little blossom bloom to its full glory...I will wait...and strive towards perfection in the mean time.

HA can't hug meee~ I'm v v prickly +_+#

Why do I bother?

2006-10-02T20:02:19Z

Exactly..shall elaborate later since it's 4.02am now.
Shit

drunk hahahaha

2006-10-01T15:51:35Z

i'm drunk..so happy.. peihui says i'm intoxicated cuz drunk means i've vomited all over the keyboard, passed out and won't reply her sms, even tho it's juz rubbishy..

family dinner at miss u cafe, bout 6 min walk from my house.. pass by da boring park n new street soccer court, walkin on da pavement obscured by this cultivated jungle so thick tat a person can get raped behind it n passers-by won't notice..serious..

father haf good taste for once... shiraz!! 2003! some prize winning red wine by matthew plunkett in australia, ha cute name......... it makes sense, practise to hold my liquer so tat guys cant make me drunk, while my maid advised me to act sobre walk straight n quit makin noise. (^^,)

Am less drunk now..was watching this nat geo documentary 'martial arts week'. Turns out the samurai's KATANA is the ultimate weapon; ease of control, strong n durable cuz forged from steel, plus it combines da advantages of DAO1 for slashing, JIAN4 for piercing.

Long range n attack include 2 or 3-jointed NUNCHAKU, but it loses out on control n valuable time needed to resume fighting stance. Super long range incl ninja's SHURIKEN (can be used for super close range poking also), n BOW n ARROW, but not v practical for normal fighting.

The stick n spear are abt equally matched, STICK has excellent control but quite fragile while the SPEAR has this tuft near da head for absorbing blood so da shaft doesn't get slippery wahahaha~!!

The docu was spectacular >,< they used animation technology (ya noe those martial arts experts hafta wear black body suits with ball-balls attached) n the human figure was reduced to flesh n bones. They oso traced the way da weapons moved thru space, even da arrow tat was OSCILLATING!!! Every single detail could be seen in slow-mo & da air currents were a cool purple..

Catch it tml on Nat Geo at 9pm 'The Most Extreme' where they count down the 10 most lethal weapons. -___-"

The sky is falling

2006-10-01T06:22:21Z

I'm mentally prepared for the worst. =RETAIN=

Cuz i'm farked up *slaps*

LOL..i dun do self-torture..mutilation of ego is better =D

~~while bursting someone's balls will probably work miracles!~~
CORRECTION: No point inflicting permanent damage even if he's askin for it. Anyway..it's discrimination against women..*GURL POWER*...*GUYS SUX*..

Haha..Don't miss me if i disappear *poof* x_X

Let go & open up

2006-09-30T16:56:06Z

I find my existing entries so...superficial, processed, censored even =( Envy the no-holds barred approach of my seniors, so personal & tastefully done!!! hAiz~ I've got a lot to learn~

Self administered therapy today by dispensing testimonials by the dozen on friendster. It's imperative that I cleanse the toxins in my brain. BUT, what'd really hit the spot is an outing (dinner, movies, K-box, dancin) with a tight bunch of friends. NOTHING beats verbal diarrhoea *looks constipated*

Argh I have an annoying problem. Tho I've got this knack for empathising with various ppl of different age group & backgrounds: auntie, uncle, little kids, maid, old ppl, recluse, monk, nun, etc..somehow I'm handicapped wrt communicating with certain peers:

1. Highly evolved social animals a.k.a. life of the party

2. Bimbos & himbos who have it all ('In' clones..urgh)

3. 'Banana' who gesticulates expressively & sprinkles a few 'hon' for good measure. Other extreme is sophisticated 'england' type.

4. Godly figures who are vastly more talented, intelligent, rich, charismatic or worldly-wise than moi.

5. Needy leeches + Slimy wierdos + Gone-case nerds + IT pervs

Excluding the last category, I analysed that it's a case of Multiple Inferiority Complex hardwired into me since young. All is not lost though, I'm confident that I can connect with them eventually =D After all, no. 1- 4 are human like me, who requires love, understanding & approval. Check out this famous quote from Initial D: "Gods were human once, juz that they can do stuff now that humans can't." How v true......n so i wanna be God, heh.

Recently, so many pic-perfect couples sauntered into my peripheral vision (& computer screen, so that includes u liwen =P), all lovey-dovey & sweet like pink champagne. I could almost hear the overflowing bubbles of bliss go *PoP..pOp..POP*

Uh-huh...Can't stand it anymore, underneath that thick ITALIA pullover, I yearn for ~~his touch;~~ warm arms that'll encircle my waist while I sleep, broad shoulders to lean on & feel safe, muscular legs, which can withstand the *GASP* 50kg centred in my wobbly bum, n most importantly, 6-pack abs to stroke xD *drools*

Bahaha...miss qian jing here has high expectations sia..perhaps i should work towards being the perfect bolster first +_+" I need my personal trainer! *rings up Sophie the Screw..nono SLAVE driver*

Who am I kidding, this dream will never come true, *bleahx* Might as well work on something more worthwhile, like SNOWBOARDING xD I'm going to Korea in Decemeber! Woo hoo~!! Instant b'day present from papa & mummy! Thanks!

Placed a bet with Songyan, if i can master a 'slide n stop' in 3 days, he'll down a jar of kimchi >P As a safety precaution, I shall raise my tolerance for kimchi too. Lol..can't be too cocky, after all SY knows how to skateboard & he warns that it won't be easy! -___-"

Oh freak, my EOM..hafta stay up late AGAIN, arhz.. Tatas~

Affairs of the Heart

2006-09-29T15:39:11Z

Heartache: A dull pain when da light of ur life hurts you.
Heartbreak: when he/she leaves & there's no hope left in this world.

The above 2 terms apply only to ppl who're already in a BGR. Since, it's irrelevant to me, I've coined the 2 terms below:

Heart-itch: A subtle state of longing for tat special someone.
Heartsore: when u realise u like him/her but tat person only has eyes for another. *blinks back tears*

I feel so numb. After a flurry of SMSes, I guess any initial impression and expectations he had of me ceased permanently.

Depressed. Disappointed. Drowning in self-Doubt.

It's really affecting my ability to mug, especially when 'well-meaning' ppl tease me abt it or offer to counsel me o.O" (Wthfalala~). Thise matter is no joke..prefer to handle it myself.

My right brain says: 'I want u' while my left brain says: '4get him' Argh..What should I do? How do I cure this obsession?

Do u know how I'm coping? Switch on eye candy auto-alert for BOTH sexes. hUR hUR~ In fact, I was surrounded by beautiful ppl today.

On my left was this picture perfect couple (urgh wad fakes), on my right was this studious Bae-young Jun lookalike impervious to the charm of his two giggly friends. *glances wistfully at him on da way to toilet*

By the way, I wanna know that icy, Gothic, waif-like Miss Tan who teaches Wai Yeow n Songyan GP. She oozes attitude and studies fashion in Melbourne. love that swathe of scarlet at her hair ends.

Update: Ivan is my idol *hugz*

WY thinks that I view the world thru rose-tinted shades.

My rationale is: Why focus on the bad stuff? There's some inherent goodness in everyone & everything. I might be less exposed to the darker side of life but I'm definitely in touch with it cuz I keep my EYES & EARS & MIND open.

Not all innocent & naive like u assume.

Me, myself & I ((GP essay practice))

2006-09-28T16:10:46Z

INTRO: It's really torturous to keep all those jumbled up feelings under wraps. [>.<] Since I've leaked (can't control it) to my confidantes & a few others who're REALLY better off not knowing, might as well vomit out my situation now, get well soon, & clear up the mess later..

TOPIC SENTENCE: I'm in lurve. *finally admits after a loong period of self-denial* With whom? Don't tell you, lol =P

EVIDENCE: Smiles stupidly => starts laughing => & can't stop!

(o.O")HORRORS! Is that him I see? Shit, my heart beats damn fast LA~ go away go away go away go away go away go away go away... WHEW! He's gone. Then I start screaming softly to whoever's nearby, causing them to think that I'm suffering from another bout of PPSS (Pre-Promos Stress Syndrome). Oh freak.

EXPLANATION: So suAy, right before the exams...BOOM! Rapid influx of guys. *faints* First him, then Justin, WY, Joe, and ...drumroll... PX!

Bahaha~Peng Xiang? No way! Tat 'African', bo pian hafta dance duet so he juz drop me like a sack of rice until ben3 xiao jie black and blue all over {~,+}#

Justin and Joe are nice guys, I predict tat BOTH can be my lifelong buddies =D I sure hope so cuz I rly feel at ease wif them and the conversation juz flows ya know <^-^>

Wai Yeow is a bag of contradictions, dunno he's serious or jokin! I'll assume da latter to preserve my sanity. Ok I won't even touch on CS, 'head big' (@_@) can't...study...argh...get out of my head!

CONCLUSION: I don't understand guys and probably neva will. Heh.

Inspired by Art seniors

2006-09-26T18:40:37Z

Tingxi, Ivan & Isaac's blogs are so outstanding that I juz feel the URGE to surpass them. My previous blog was so long-winded and utterly useless! What a revelation, *deletes*! Now, I'm at a turning point in my life; finding out who I am, sorting out what's important & teetering...on the brink of love. *Blush* ok lust, lol~

One of my top priorities is building up confidence. It's so damn unstable & fluctuates more than my hunger strikes and binge-eating. The main contributing factors are 1. academic performance 2. social wellbeing 3. personal fulfillment and 4. spiritual cultivation. Hmm..it's pretty clear what the best policy should be:

Honesty (Gotcha! Haha..)

BUT "Life goes on."---Yee May mantra. Yep, and therefore I shall not dwell too much on the past and focus on the present moment & future! =D

The Yr 2s are chionging their A level exhibition in the Scope and many Yr 3-5s came back to help! TJ Art peeps are indeed a privileged bunch, our hang-out lagi best in school. It's great fun to stay overnight and challenge the limits of what's humanly possible. For eg, KK downing cans of Red Bull like it's plain water and not sleeping for days o_O!! Absolutely amazing~

Knew the Yr 3-5 seniors better today: Yue Shan, Ying Tong, Mingli, Xiang Kee, Yazeed, Dong Hao, Wesley and Witono. Yaz was fasting. (How I know? I offered him a chocolate cookie -__-")And Mrs Neo (Queen) was sharp to notice that someone has a crush on Mr Heng (King)! Pity the yr 2s won't 'give their blessings' *bleahx*

Another important note is: I'm swamped wif guys at this inopportune moment >,<" but I don't wanna lose their friendship as gd guy friends are HARD to come by ~O,O~ Shall elaborate more on my barren love life in the next post. Ok..Nitez...*hugz*